Tartle: The Scottish Word for the Experience of Hesitating to Introduce Someone Because You Forgot Their Name
A special word on a common social nightmare
One of the most embarrassing things I struggle in social situations is that I never forget faces, but I can hardly remember names either. Usually, I can't express my joy when I see old friends I haven't seen in a long time because at that moment I'm also fighting a desparate battle to remember their names. Nobody can avoid my apparently careless state of forgetting names no matter how close they were to me once, but in reality I'm just trapped in a game of my terrible memory, which makes me fear dementia most of the time.
Although they don't seem to use it often nowadays, the Scots must have experienced this quite frequently because they gave it a name: Tartle
Although tartle is a nightmare that most of us have experienced at least once in social life, in fact it’s a very natural situation. The current world is a chaotic place. A normal human being like you or me encounters more information or messages in a day than any other person in history had in a month. We begin our day by watching or reading 35467 pieces of mostly worrying news, and till going asleep, we are then overwhelmed by 4536 pieces of personal development feedback via social media, newsletters, or blogs. Wouldn't it be a miracle if anything could stay in our minds for an extended period of time while living in such conditions?
The amount of information coming at us is incredible. So why should we be afraid of a situation caused by an innocent memory loss that happens to everyone? It doesn't make sense to me. That's why it doesn't bother me when people forget my name. I don’t make sentences like "Wasn't I important to him?" or "Do I deserve to be forgotten?" I don't inflate my ego by getting into such toxic moods that also ruins my day. On the contrary, if I suspect you have forgotten my name, I make things easier by introducing myself. This approach also makes my embarrassed old friend feel better.
I call this type of seemingly shameful but natural situations that happens to everyone "social traps." Even though we know very well that everyone can live through such embarrassing moments, we regard them as an opportunity to shame or resent another person when it happens to them.
I believe we'd all be better people if we gave up on such traps. Nobody is perfect, not even us. Let’s make life easier for the other ones. For sure, they will do the same for you. Kindness is contagious!
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