Temenos: A Sacred Circle Where One Can Reveal Oneself Without Fear - Greek

On Jung's psychology, experiencing flow state and the circumstances under which we reveal ourselves

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.

Brene Brown

I mentioned at the end of last week's post that we'd think about a word related to friendship the following week. That was my intention. But when my heart and mind were drawn to another topic, I couldn't resist and quickly put the other word aside. I'm not a floating type of character, but I'd better act wisely and not reject my heart and mind if they're working together to send me a message, which doesn't happen very often.

Now, after this introduction, which is necessary for me to preserve my honesty, I would like to get straight to the point because our topic is serious.

This week we will be traveling in very deep waters. Ancient Greek gods, temples, psychology, Jung—all of these are involved. I think we should start directly.

Temenos in ancient Greece meant a sacred space, a walled sanctuary, specially reserved for gods or kings. Sacred temples, for example, the Acropolis, are an example.

Carl Gustav Jung used temenos as a metaphor in psychology, so it became a word that more and more people heard and knew. The temenos is described by Jung as a very special "magic circle" in which one can feel at ease, express one's unconscious, and meet one's own "anima and animus."

As part of the therapy, Jung had his clients draw mandalas. He used this as an expression of the unconscious. At the same time, the mandala represented the person's spiritual center, which needed to be protected. Mandalas are also associated with the temenos in Jung's psychology.

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The part of the temenos that interests me is "to be yourself without fear or hesitation enough to reveal your subconscious." These are arguably the happiest times on the planet. The times we spend with our closest friends, the flow states when we focus on what we love to do, the games we play with a child laughing without thinking about anything else. I can imagine that you are smiling even as you remembered these moments.

Many years ago, when I visited Thailand for work, I experienced the most impressive time of my life in temenos.

I was going to make a presentation to a senior sales group, and it was the first time in my life that I was presenting outside of my native language in a place other than our company. It was a very professional setting—there were TV editors and daylong rehearsals, etc.—and I was extremely stressed.

Finally, after three sweaty days, the presentation had gone well, and it was all over. I visited the city, I had fun, I finished everything I had to do, and the evening before my flight to Istanbul, something rare happened to me. I suddenly and without any reason wanted to dance in my hotel room.

With a gorgeous view of the whole city right next to the river in darkness, I listened to Madonna's La Isla Bonita on my Ipod (yes, Ipod!) for maybe an hour, I danced as I felt like dancing. Madonna or La Isla Bonita had no special meaning for me, but that was the song that my soul needed at that moment.

No one watching and judging me; no work to do; no stress. Nobody and nothing. Not even death was there for that hour. Just me, my soul, the music, and God. It was like a religious ritual for me.

Whenever I read about Temenos, or even whenever I think about being myself without fear, I think of this moment. The moment when I could be myself the most in the world.

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For a Cancer introvert like me (actually, now an ambivert), being oneself always requires boundaries and walls.

We introverts feel that our inner world is like a “crystal bowl.” As if you are carrying a fragile crystal bowl, you want to show it to everyone, knowing that it is valuable, but at the same time you are afraid of it breaking, so you close it as soon as someone sees it. Your life is a constant, on-and-off pantomime. As you can imagine, this is a very exhausting way of life.

The other extreme is extroverts. For extroverts, the crystal bowl is sometimes so public that it is accessible to everyone almost 24/7. After a while, possibly there will be no bowl left, which is a devastating blow for the person.

Catch the sweet spot is the best approach, as for everything in life. As it is said in many sources and explained in detail in Susan Cain's book Quiet, which is a savior and mind-opener for all introverts in the world, being an introvert or extrovert is a character trait, not a superiority. There are jobs and cases in which one of those character types can be more successful.

Giving ourselves a garden to cultivate ourselves according to our seeds is what we need. Some courage and passion should accompany, of course.

Notes & Reads:

• When I think about being oneself, the first book that comes to mind is the Norwegian writer Erlend Loe’s novel Naïve. Super. The novel is actually quite different from the novel description we are used to. It is short—novella-length. It consists of short chapters of four or five pages. The language and the narratives are incredibly simple but overall the novel is impressive.

  You are actually reading the diary of a young man in his twenties. One side of him is completely childish; he resists being and adult. He reads scientific theories that are of no interest to the general public, and he spends his time throwing balls at the wall or playing with small lego-like toys. His older brother who works in New York, who is successful in his job, and constantly advises his brother to grow up. While reading the book, you question “what it means to be an adult” and “what is important” in today's world.

• The other book is How to Behave in a Crowd by Camille Bordas. We read about life through the eyes of Isidore, the youngest "normal" child in a family of six children who are super-intelligent, or geniuses. Isidore does not achieve great success like his older brothers and sisters, but he wonders and questions life more than them. He is a more humane, close, and empathetic character. It is a very sincere, warm novel.

• Also, Susan Cain's Quiet, which I mentioned above, is a revolutionary novel. I suppose very few people in the world haven’t heard about it. It explains to a world that sees introversion as a shame and a disease that it is just a character trait, and that many successful people are introverts. It convinced me that I

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It would be nice to end this post by saying that I wish we could always be ourselves without fear, but I have to be realistic because I know that in today's world, achieving this at any moment is a hopeless endeavor that will not end until death.

So, I wish us all friends and partners with whom we can be ourselves without judgements and lots of courage, hope, and passion. The rest will somehow work itself out.

Have a great week and weekend.

— Gulsun

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